As someone who has been forced to face his own anger and the harm it has done, I hear the anger coming through this piece. [I, too, loathe most of what passes for (highbrow) literature, by the way.]
Here’s the thing, though: anger rises from within. Yes, it’s often a response to actual events, but even so, it arises from within. It can be righteous and founded upon outrage at injustice or callousness… or it can be a habitual response and destructive. It can always be taken too far.
Much of the anger we’re hearing from women is righteous. As men, angry ourselves (rightly or wrongly), we need to listen to that. We need to notice it when it takes a different form than the anger we are used to. We needed to notice it before we were forced into circumstances that made us into fathers to our children from afar.
We need to admit grief, and bear the experience of feeling completely broken, for awhile. Broken beings heal. That’s what life is. Broken beings heal. Not perfectly. Not to the way they were before. But they heal.
This problem is driven by extreme self absorption, and social bubbles. People who think that the whole world should be just like them. People who refuse to accept anyone who processes the world differently. They preach one thing, but their actions are the opposite.
She makes sure that her male students read “The Handmaid’s Tale.” because "It’s not just their edification that matters; women also benefit from the existence of better men."
Ugh! Has anyone, anywhere, benefited - been made better men - by reading or watching that extended rape fantasy?
Atwood has an extensive body of work, a lifetime of writing. Handmaid's is only one book, and not even representative of her fiction. So no, I wouldn't entertain that thought, and haven't come across it before.
This isn't just a divide between male and female, it is also a class divide. The upper class female gatekeepers in the publishing world could never, and will never, connect with the hideous truths of a lower class man who has lived a life full of blood, sweat, and shit. Unless you package it in a way so that the man is a dunce, looked down upon, and an edicated woman saves him from himself.
They keep catering to the mostly female market because the big 4 publishers are a mostly female industry. Wait until someone writes the next book that men who dont read books go out and buy a copy of, ala Fight Club. They'll all clamor to catch that wave with some lesser version of the same story, and flood the market with "Modern man is sick of society's shit" stories.
Men dont read books because there are very few options for men. If the publishers created a market for it, theyd sell them.
Had this problem on my mind since I started writing fiction everyday, 4 years ago. Not scared of a small press, or self publishing. However, I would like the validation of getting past the big four gatekeepers. We'll see.
True. The right people will find it. No one bought Fight Club before the film, but the right guy found it, and championed it. I will at least explore the idea of a big publisher when the time comes.
The internet has democratized everything. Look at what wallstreetbets did to that huge, powerful old financial institution.
I believe that this is the beginning of gargantuan, old, slow moving institutions going away in favor of small and nimble. Sure hope so.
As somebody who was obsessed with fight club in my late teens, tasted the red pill in the days of Reddit, and read one too many masculinity books, I must admit I needed to hear this. Bravo!
If I was a writer. This is what I would write. Thank you for your work. Your voice. The time you spend to do the work of writing this and then sharing it. There are probably only a billion men who will relate. Keep it coming.
I’ve been writing this exact literature for the past 11 years. Each year there seems to be less and less interest in it. Several years ago I created an anthology series for veterans to have a platform to share the exact things that this essay so effectively expresses.
You have a strong narrative tone. Do you write fiction?
I needed a moment to collect myself after reading this. Brutal, but at the same time it’s like someone taking off the veil from in front of your eyes. Thank you for being here! It sounds cliche, but I really mean it! Kudos to you! 🫡
I don't have any answers or solutions. Ken Rusk wrote a book called Blue Collar Cash, a kind of road map toward loving what you do in life. Life has meaning if you love what you do.
So beautiful. Your vulnerability is beyond refreshing.
As someone who has been forced to face his own anger and the harm it has done, I hear the anger coming through this piece. [I, too, loathe most of what passes for (highbrow) literature, by the way.]
Here’s the thing, though: anger rises from within. Yes, it’s often a response to actual events, but even so, it arises from within. It can be righteous and founded upon outrage at injustice or callousness… or it can be a habitual response and destructive. It can always be taken too far.
Much of the anger we’re hearing from women is righteous. As men, angry ourselves (rightly or wrongly), we need to listen to that. We need to notice it when it takes a different form than the anger we are used to. We needed to notice it before we were forced into circumstances that made us into fathers to our children from afar.
We need to admit grief, and bear the experience of feeling completely broken, for awhile. Broken beings heal. That’s what life is. Broken beings heal. Not perfectly. Not to the way they were before. But they heal.
That’s the the true form survival actually takes.
This problem is driven by extreme self absorption, and social bubbles. People who think that the whole world should be just like them. People who refuse to accept anyone who processes the world differently. They preach one thing, but their actions are the opposite.
This is beauty. Thank you for exiting your lane. And sharing.
She makes sure that her male students read “The Handmaid’s Tale.” because "It’s not just their edification that matters; women also benefit from the existence of better men."
Ugh! Has anyone, anywhere, benefited - been made better men - by reading or watching that extended rape fantasy?
Fooking hell.
(Imagine if a man had written it.)
Imagine that...
There’s a theory that says Margaret Atwood is only transcribing what men are already “writing”…
Atwood has an extensive body of work, a lifetime of writing. Handmaid's is only one book, and not even representative of her fiction. So no, I wouldn't entertain that thought, and haven't come across it before.
🤦🏻♂️
This isn't just a divide between male and female, it is also a class divide. The upper class female gatekeepers in the publishing world could never, and will never, connect with the hideous truths of a lower class man who has lived a life full of blood, sweat, and shit. Unless you package it in a way so that the man is a dunce, looked down upon, and an edicated woman saves him from himself.
They keep catering to the mostly female market because the big 4 publishers are a mostly female industry. Wait until someone writes the next book that men who dont read books go out and buy a copy of, ala Fight Club. They'll all clamor to catch that wave with some lesser version of the same story, and flood the market with "Modern man is sick of society's shit" stories.
Men dont read books because there are very few options for men. If the publishers created a market for it, theyd sell them.
Had this problem on my mind since I started writing fiction everyday, 4 years ago. Not scared of a small press, or self publishing. However, I would like the validation of getting past the big four gatekeepers. We'll see.
We don’t need that validation because the gatekeepers don’t matter as much as that random guy who finds your words when he needs it most
True. The right people will find it. No one bought Fight Club before the film, but the right guy found it, and championed it. I will at least explore the idea of a big publisher when the time comes.
The internet has democratized everything. Look at what wallstreetbets did to that huge, powerful old financial institution.
I believe that this is the beginning of gargantuan, old, slow moving institutions going away in favor of small and nimble. Sure hope so.
Amen
"But it might keep some guy alive when the silence gets too loud."
Pretty clear why your daughter calls you a hero.
As somebody who was obsessed with fight club in my late teens, tasted the red pill in the days of Reddit, and read one too many masculinity books, I must admit I needed to hear this. Bravo!
I have an open pathway for this type of writing. Honest and gritty as a logging road. Real.
If I was a writer. This is what I would write. Thank you for your work. Your voice. The time you spend to do the work of writing this and then sharing it. There are probably only a billion men who will relate. Keep it coming.
I’ve been writing this exact literature for the past 11 years. Each year there seems to be less and less interest in it. Several years ago I created an anthology series for veterans to have a platform to share the exact things that this essay so effectively expresses.
You have a strong narrative tone. Do you write fiction?
I used to coach veterans . I don’t write fiction , yet. And what’s the series called ?
In Love & War, and War & After. It’s published by a small but notable publisher called, Dead Reckoning Collective. They are active on Instagram.
fucking hell wow yessss
I needed a moment to collect myself after reading this. Brutal, but at the same time it’s like someone taking off the veil from in front of your eyes. Thank you for being here! It sounds cliche, but I really mean it! Kudos to you! 🫡
Painfully beautiful. Everything. I’m at a loss for words. Thank you for sharing this.
Thanks for letting me know I’m on the right track. I fucking love you man. And I love what you write.
Keep writing
I don't have any answers or solutions. Ken Rusk wrote a book called Blue Collar Cash, a kind of road map toward loving what you do in life. Life has meaning if you love what you do.