32 Comments

Big oof. This one slaps in a very personal way that I can't really explain at this time of the morning.

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One date and no sleep and this is the shit that my skull screams

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Jesus fucking Christ man, get some Xanax.

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Oh man if I could I probably would

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I'm whittling my way down from a dosage my general practitioner put me on (to be fair, it was best for everyone involved) that my psychiatrist (new as of last year, but very much knows his shit) says is "incredibly unethically high." We're working on it, but it's not like I'm telling him that I have access to as much extra pharma as can be afforded. I think psychiatrists at this point should just assume any of their patients on controls know where to get them on the street by now. To think otherwise is sort of foolish.

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Every man should have access to at least a couple of Valium of Xanax or Valium per day. For life, if needs be. A lot more people would still be around if they could have just slowed their out of control negative thoughts down for a few hours, and maybe had the ability to have a bit of sleep, or a light meal, snack, whatever. The small things mean so much when you don’t or can’t have them.

I liked this one, George. Talentless is a bit of a stretch, isn’t it? It has a near future vibe to it. A kind of jaded, everything has been done, …what’s next that will garner some eyeballs?.. vibe.

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What’s next ? No clue just writing what I see

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I think that’s for the best.

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Excellent.

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Fun to write . Stoked to do more

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Jerry’s looks like giving up feels. Ah, I know about the plans. One every day. A lot of them the same, somedays different. Thanks George. Keep writing.

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…jesus fuck

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This is too good!

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They didn't lie....you shard them! They can chill

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Intense and engaging. I feel I was there.

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Incredible. Thank you for having the courage to spill your suffering onto the page.

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There's absolutely nothing I can say to make this better.

I don't know you.

Even if I did, that's not how I operate.

But you know why you need to be here. I'm sure some days you can't stand it.

I know I can't.

But we made choices.

And those choices have life too.

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True dat .

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i have no words, thank you for yours… feeling you…

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I wasn't expecting that ending. really great writing, George.

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Me neither

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It’s good. I don’t blow smoke. Ask my friends. An opportunity to make it better:

YOU WROTE:

- - -

“If you would."

She exhales slowly, measuring the air. "Okay," she says. "But not here. Not now."

- - -

There are so many layers left unexplored beneath “If you would.” To me, it points directly at the central flaw of your protagonist. Maybe dig around that idea more in a subsequent draft. Force him to confront the gravity around needing another suffering soul to give him permission to end it. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but I feel that line betrays his entire life’s tragedy.

I’ll leave it there. You didn’t ask for an edit.

Good stuff.

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Damn. Thanks for this. Making me think harder about a v2. But this was fun exercise for me to do . Maybe I’ll share a v2 next week

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I’d love to read a version 2. Are you contemplating a transition into short (or long) fiction? You’ve got a lot of raw talent (and much time-honed skill, no doubt).

I’d DM this next bit, if I knew how, but I’m hoping that writing about these types of struggles is sufficient for you to effectively process them and to not do anything rash. It’s hard for men to reach out to one another, but if you ever want someone to talk to, I’m offering. Feel free to delete this comment if you want. And keep at it.

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All good . And this was a fun writing exercise for me . I’m not doing anything with it. Maybe I’ll start short stories weekly. I start an MFA program in January and I’ll see how that goes

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Congrats. Just don’t let those fuckers ruin you. They’ll try.

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They don't ruin enough of them.

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Never…they accepted an example essay so it’s on

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Govt is paying for like 3/4 of it so why the fuck not

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Nice! And thanks for your service.

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jesus fucking christ

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Feels that way right now

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